I am moving to Germany, which means I may or may not be posting more or less on this or some other blog. It all depends on whether I have
internet or whether I have the will, among many other factors. Usually will. In fact, I believe half of the things I have ever said on Random Hat, including comics and poems, have been along the lines of "I know I haven't posted much lately... blah blah blah [insert excuse]... I'll post regularly from now on." But then, you couldn't have a site with "random" in its name without some sporadic posting, so it looks like I'm keeping MY end of the bargain. YOU, on the other hand, need to pick up the slack.
That is not what I came to talk about. I have this friend who is very sad. She is not the type of person who gets sad, which makes me sad. It also makes me sad that I do not know why it is that she is sad. That is the true sadness of her sadness. I asked, but she won't tell me, and because I do think that I kind of know her somewhat, I don't want to press the matter by posting her plight on the
internet for all to ponder. Maybe it's because her "P" key doesn't work. Probably not. No, probably. The "P" key is pretty practical for pontificating in pleasing,
palatable prose, as is
prima facie our propensity at
Prandom Phat. Why, I don't know what I would do without the "P" key.
That is still not what I came here to talk about. Fall is coming, and as such the days are getting shorter and the nights colder. What are we going to do about this? Now, I know many of you have been bitching and moaning about how hot it is and how the humidity makes things hotter. But seriously! What would you rather have? Hot, sweltering days where you can't walk three feet without sweating gallons of water, or freezing cold days where you can't walk three feet without thinking about suicide? Me? I actually like both summer and winter. I just hate autumn. I can't stand transitional weather. I like EXTREMES. Fall is like milk that has been left out on the counter for an hour. It's neither hot no cold, and it tastes like shit. And you
asscastles with your air conditioning! Grow some balls! Real men sweat bullets, even in the effort just to scratch our balls! So what am I suggesting? Well, unless you all want to become total wusses, we need to destroy autumn. To that end, I believe there is only one choice: every year at the fall equinox we must start a nuclear holocaust that blots out the sun until March, at which time we turn on all of our cars, factories and lights and accelerate global warming by ten thousand fold. Hell, let's just burn some oil fields.
But I still haven't said what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say was that while I may be going to Germany, I assure you that I will not be influenced by all of the awesome German efficiency. By that I mean I will not start writing regularly or drawing more comics. I'll be just as lazy and indifferent to my
internet image as I always have been. However, I may anti-write and anti-draw, so we'll see. See you in Germany! Or most likely on the nine hour lay-away in Dublin!
Nobi,
Andrew
P.S. Has anyone noticed I haven't been using the "P" key? Or HAVE I?
