Somebody please!

Make this snow stop! Now they're saying another 10-20 inches is possible tomorrow? Someone please tell me they're kidding. I swear to God that if our power goes out again, I'm taking every single drug that makes you sleepy that I can get my hands on. I will absolutely lose my mind. See, when we lose power, we lose the following: lights, TV, stove/oven, the internet (because the tower has invariably also gone out), phone service, WATER (which means no flushing the toilets and no running any water, at all) and most importantly, the HEAT. We lost power over the weekend, and it was somewhere around 40 degrees in the house.

Some people say, "Just run the generator!" Well, that's logical, but my dad insists that it ruins the house or some bullshit. Something about how the generator kills something. I don't know. He refuses to run it. He also (and this may be connected to that) insists that the condensation tank must be watched at all times, because of all of the water that might overflow. Of course, he's talking about the SNOW that is FROZEN in 20 degree weather. He's thinking that it's somehow all going to melt at once and overflow the tank. Now, clearly, this is stupid, because this snow isn't going to be gone until March or April. But no. He says that since the sun shines down on the snow, even if it's only 20 degrees, the snow is going to melt, fast.

Such utter bullshit. I hate snow on the same level as the beatles. I hate them both with a burning fiery hatred of burning hate.

SPRING WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!?

~musicalsparks

Fail

So I knew that Valentine's Day was going to be on a Sunday this year. That made me somewhat happy, because I wasn't really thinking it through and I thought, "Oh okay, I can just get through the day by preparing for and watching football." Then I realized... "Wait... the Superbowl is the 7th. That means NO FOOTBALL on Valentine's Day Sunday."

Fantastic. Maybe there will be highlights of the 2009 season. Maybe I'll get to see Roethlisberger play! If I do, that will actually be my best VD yet.

~musicalsparks

HUGE rant

You know, it's pretty clear that the world is seriously out to irritate me and pull the carpet out from under me. I'm so serious. Okay. Firstly, the disappearing things.

I've had it with things that I like disappearing. Whenever they discontinue foods, it's ALWAYS the one I happen to like. They used to have this Asian wan tan thing I liked. The brand made four flavors. Now I come to find out that the flavor I liked has been discontinued, although there are mysteriously five flavors now.

I used to love Better Cheddars. It's a very very rare day that I find those, and the last time I found them, they were all burny tasting. Also, they used to make cream cheese squirt cheese. Not anymore!

Don't even get me friggin started on the White Russian ice cream that doesn't even exist, anywhere. And don't even get me started on the Pink Floyd lounge pants in women's. I've already discussed this.

Here's what REALLY got me pissed off today. I happened to catch part of the Tyra Show, and she was saying what the new type of guy was that women liked. She's saying that the guys who have bigger stomachs and bellies are the new thing. You know what? That's just fabulous. Put it on the air so that 14 million people can see it, that women like bigger guys. Oh and don't forget the Internet for those who missed the show.

Thanks for doubling, trebling, etc... my competition. I mean, clearly, I've had so much success with guys that I could run my own mansion with a whole herd of big guys who I could choose from as I pleased if I was fortunate enough to have that much money. I'm totally that successful with guys. And it's definitely not hard enough already for me to find someone. Nah, I can easily find guys, I mean they, like, flock to me like city pigeons wherever I go. You know that song, It's Raining Men? (Shit maybe it was a movie I don't know right now) The weather totally does that for me. People always joke about having a black cloud of despair hanging over their heads. I happen to have a stormcloud that is full of men follow me around and it rains down beautiful big guys for me. It's friggin true, I shit you not, guys just fall into my waiting lap.

And for the record, I happen to think that guys who have big stomachs are cute, so thanks Tyra for making everyone snag up what I want.

I mean seriously, do I friggin catch a break? All I need to hear now is that guys want a woman who's got huge boobs or something. Oh wait! They already do! Makes me life so much friggin easier. Big boobs, yeah that'll never go out of fashion, fortunately for me right?!?!

Mark my words, pretty soon the single, nice, cute guy with a big belly is going to become as rare as the White Russian ice cream. Fantastic.

I've had it.

~musicalsparks

Those lines are supposed to be indented

but oh well.

Nose

What did you say?
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you,
over your breathing.
The whistling noise your nose makes
becomes my mantra,
my center of focus,
and I forget that you are there.
That's when we both drift into sleep,
wrapped in ourselves.
But I keep waking up,
wondering if it's real,
wondering if it's right,
anxious, nervous, sweating.
Then you exhale,
and I am brought back to myself.
I am riding a sharp and biting wind,
or a sigh of relief,
or a loud sneeze
that's so unfeminine of you.
That's how I know
where you are.
Fuck, I have no right to be tired,
not when I haven't done anything,
but let you down,
and stare at your nose all night.
I let myself down more,
if you wanted to know.
And now that you're awake
I can go to sleep,
and dream about someone else,
as you reappear before me.



-----

I don't know. I was trying something new. I haven't written a poem in a long while.

Something everyone must watch

Because it's fucking hilarious!

I can't stop laughing man...

~musicalsparks

The purpose of people

Today, the express purpose of people I ran across, for the most part, has been to piss me off. I can't even remember most of them now because I'm so cold. I despise cold and wind. When I get married, which will be soon by God, we're moving to somewhere warm without howling arctic winds. Now my eye is twitching.

I was also saddened to learn that the cute guy who I like to find so I can pretend not to stare at him was not at work today for some reason. I know he works weekdays and has weekends off. Oh where are you B?

I also have hope that New England, as much as I dislike them, slaughters Baltimore this weekend. Baltimore, pffft, like they think they're going anywhere this year. Even if Tom Brady can't beat them, surely Peyton Manning will deliver a crushing blow to any hopes the ravens had of going to the Super Bowl.

I can't stop eating chocolate covered marshmellows... and why is it telling me that marshmellow is spelled wrong?

~musicalsparks

People Truly Baffle Me

I've noticed this for a good long time. Why is it that people make fun of people who are fat? (or make fun of people in general) I mean, seriously, I was watching some of Tyra and there were some teens who were overweight on there and they said that people actually made fun of them and called them fat bitches and even went to the extent of making Myspace pages about them. Seriously? Why would people do that? What can they possibly get out of it?

I mean, okay, so a teenager sees another teenager walking down the hall. That person is overweight. Okay? So where does the need to say, "Hey you're fat," or "Hey fatass" arise? I guess it makes them feel better to make someone else's day crappy? Yeah like that never backfires. And one girl said that people stare at her. Why? I don't get this. Okay, so someone's overweight. I, myself, have a shit ton of other things to be thinking about then why someone is overweight and what I can say to make that person feel bad. And that's just mean. It accomplishes nothing except making someone feel bad.

And no, I'm not an overweight person who's wondering why this happens to her. But I knew a lot of people way back even in junior high who did that. I even remember this one time where the girl I was talking to said something about "Oh my God that girl is so fat," and pointed. Firstly, I found this to be bad manners because my mother really didn't like my brother and I pointing at people and she would really discourage us. I remember turning and then saying to the one girl, "Yeah...?"

Who cares if someone's overweight? Don't people have other things to be worrying about? And who knows why that person is overweight. Maybe that person has a medical condition. Maybe that person has been emotionally scarred or something. Whatever the reason, it's really nobody's business and definitely not anybody's business to make comments. Grow up, people.

~musicalsparks

I Just Can't Wait

to be king!! No okay, seriously though.

Interesting observation though. Right around New Years, I counted a sadly large number of people saying how happy they were saying that 2009 was gone and how much hope they had for 2010. What was it about 2009 that sucked so badly? I mean, I hated 2009 too (except the summer had lovely weather) but what was it? I know the economy sucked but the economy sucked the year before too. Maybe people were complaining the year before too and I just don't remember. I think 2009 was just a rotten year. One of our family friends wrote in her Christmas card that she hoped for a better 2009 because she had had lots of terrible family things (broken legs, horrific car accidents and a terrible diagnosis). But really 2009 just sucked, seriously. Especially since we got 2 fucking feet of snow right at the end of it.

Ah the opening of a new decade. I feel that this is going to be a good year (at least for me). Mmmm new decade smell.

~musicalsparkss

Incredible

Firstly, I want to make a point that, at my wedding, which will happen in the next few years by God, there will be no children who are at the age of crying uncontrollably allowed. I will invariably piss off a bunch of people by saying that, my brother and his wife included. I don't care if kids who can sit still and be quiet for the ceremony are there. Also, if the children want to be kept in a separate building from my ceremony, that's okay.

What I DON'T want is this: when I look back over my wedding video (which I WILL do) I don't want to be distracted by a bunch of squalling children or children who are running around. Hell, I don't want to be distracted by that DURING the wedding! No it's not cute, and no, it's not excusable. Most importantly, this is MY and MY HUSBAND'S WEDDING. Preemptive strike: no, there will be NO ring bearer and NO flower girl. If you decide to bring your young crying age child to my ceremony, be advised: I will have duct tape on hand. After all, silence is golden... but duct tape is silver.

So anyway, my main reason for writing this was this. I heard about something called "My Tiny Hands," which sounded suspiciously like something that would annoy me. Sure enough, I went to that website. http://www.mytinyhands.com/

Are you freakin' kidding me? Come on parents, seriously, knock it off. People are not out to contaminate your child. And who goes around touching other peoples' kids?? I sure as hell don't.

I'm going to get a sign for my horses' stall. "Please wash your hands and wipe the bottom of your shoes. You could be carrying the strangles virus. If I get it, you could cost my mommy thousands of dollars. Do you really want to get a half-million dollar horse sick? :("

Seriously...

~musicalsparks

Congratulations baltimore, I'm NOT impressed

Ooooh so you guys won over Pittsburgh. BFD.

Firstly, you won in OVERTIME. Secondly, and the main reason I'm not impressed: you won against our THIRD STRING QUARTERBACK. In fact, this was his starting game. And Dixon -- the "good guy" quarterback -- even played better than Flacco -- ravens qb. ravens = terrible. We didn't have Ben freakin' Roethlisberger. We didn't even have Charlie Batch.THIRD STRING. If you're thinking you're such a wonderful team, then you should have beaten us easily, with a bigger lead and without having to go into overtime. The fact that the game played out the way it did just shows what a good team PITTSBURGH is.

Way to go baltimore, I'm not impressed.

And also out was Chris Kemoeatu on the offense.
AND we had TROY FREAKIN' POLAMALU out on defense.

Even though we were out THREE key players, we STILL put up a good fight. You only won by a field goal, baltimore. Good luck playing Green Bay next week, assholes. We're still in the running for wildcard, and you will lose.

I'm proud of Dixon. I would have been shaking in my shoes if I had been in his position. I mean he's replacing one of the top three quarterbacks in the NFL, with a week's practice, against the division rivals, in a very hostile baltimore. Hats off to Dixon.

And baltimore? You haven't seen the "stillers" fans at home in "picksburg." I've got news for you: when you come play in Heinz Field in a few weeks, you're goin' DOWN in flames. You will walk off the field with your tail between your legs. Actually you'll be running. James Harrison will probably be after you.

Screw baltimore. That is all.

~musicalsparks

PS -- best of all, we have Hines Ward and you don't. The man is ALWAYS smiling, I freakin' love him. I love Ben Roethlisberger, Hines Ward, Jeff Reed, Dixon, Mendenhall, etc. .... the Steelers are STILL a FAR superior team. And THAT is all.

It's been a long week, clearly

I was looking at my mini calendar here on my desk, and I was confused as to which Thursday tomorrow was. My class didn't meet last week, and we met this week but not next. I was confused because I thought the 19th had already happened and I had somehow missed class.

And no I wasn't dreaming.

The way I finally figured out what day today was, a good 30, 45 seconds after looking at the calendar? I looked at this past Sunday - the 15th - and saw that the Steelers had played (asshole) Cincinnatti. The Steelers have not yet played the Chiefs - this coming Sunday, the 22nd - and therefore tomorrow my class meets and I have not missed class.

This probably says something about my character but whatever, who cares.

~musicalsparks

Another memory

I should really be working now on a paper I have due in three days. However, today has been irritating and actually depressing. I shouldn't feel this bad this close to my birthday. Anyhow.

The rainy weather of today, and the fact that I had to go to the library to get a book for the paper due on Sunday brought back a memory from my first year at UMW. Here we go.

It was early in September. My books had been pre-bought (typical for a first year). So I went to my Intro to Discreet Math class, and after class, the professor said that the bookstore had given me the wrong "Intro to Discreet Math" book. Book exchange only goes on for a week or so. I did the logical thing - I went straight to the bookstore and told them that they had given me the incorrect book and could I exchange it?

Well! They told me that if I wanted to return a book, I had to have a receipt. I was a bit miffed: number one, I had to go back and get my receipt, which was somewhere still packed away God knew where in my room, and number two, I wasn't returning a book that I had bought incorrectly, I was exchanging a book that someone had incorrectly given me.

I searched my room for a receipt, and I found part of it. I had classes for the rest of the day, and by the time my classes were over, the bookstore was closed. Later that night, I was online, and I realized that this particular math class would end up making me fail. I checked out "ratemyprofessors.com" and of the 70 reviews of my professor, 68 were sad faces and bad. Most said to run away, save your GPA now, etc. ... I took this advice and dropped the course.

Next day, I went back to the bookstore, and told them I was dropping the course, but here was the book, and I needed a Statistics book. They told me that only "exchanges" were going on at that time and I'd have to come back at a certain time. I was slightly pissed off, because I had no money to uy my Stats book. And of course, now I didn't technically have an exchange.

Of course, the returns were going on when I had class, but finally, the day before the last day of returns was going on, I made it back in, and they promptly told me I had the wrong part of the receipt. Back to my room. I searched it inside out. No receipt. My parents had taken it home. They eventually emailed me the receipt, which I was hoping would be sufficient. Got the email, and of course, the bookstore is closed. Of course.

Well, that week had been pretty cloudy and rainy. I woke up, and it's raining. I mean, this is epic rain. There's literally a hurricane going on outside. (Ernesto?) I took out my umbrella, my copied receipt and the offending math book, and ran to the bookstore, which was thankfully still open, and still doing returns.

I had the right part of the receipt. I was almost in the clear. The woman held up the book, rather disgustedly, and made this awful face. Her words?

"This book has water damage."

Seriously? I'll tell you what it had. It had a few drops of water on the cover. It was a hardback, shiny book. To me, water damage is having water dumped on the pages, and having it dry with the pages stuck together. Water damage is NOT ten drops of water on the hardback cover, from a fucking hurricane that managed to blow under my umbrella on my five minute run to the bookstore. And did I mention? There happens to be a really bad HURRICANE outside.

Anyway. She rolled her eyes at me, and I was shooting daggers at her with my eyes. There is a happy ending though. They took the book back and I did get my Stats book. And I passed with flying colours. I win.

This memory has been brought to you by:

~musicalsparks